Every so often, you take stock of your life. Every so often, you learn something new about yourself that you don't particularly like. Lately for me, it's been about romantic relationships; I sabotage great relationships whenever I sense a rough patch. I thought life was about learning from a mistake and not doing it again, but this seems to keep happening, and it's completely from my end.
I don't like being hurt, though I don't think anybody really does. My reaction to feeling threatened, it seems, is to offer my partner the easy way out and to be passively aggressive in conversation. I hate passive-aggressive behaviour in people! So why the hell do I do it?! I overthink, over-react over completely irrational thoughts that don't make sense. When I'm not doing that on my lonesome, I drink. Eh.
It doesn't make sense to me that relationships are where you're supposed to feel the most comfortable with yourself, where you feel so safe and alive… but the moment I get into one, I freak the fuck out over stupid things. I'm an asshole. Sometimes it makes sense to me as to why some single mothers stay single; there's so much baggage, and in contention with other women of my age, I tend to lose. I know I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to relationships, and I hate feeling so insecure. It must be exhausting to have to reassure someone constantly about how much you care about them. Ah, balls.
I just want to be happy and be a part of something beautiful where both people are completely satisfied.
June 21, 2006 at 12:28 pm
You know that saying “You need to love yourself before you can love someone else”
June 21, 2006 at 2:40 pm
I’ve always hated that saying. By that theory I love no-one which simply isn’t true.
I also have a tendency to fuck up good things – in all spheres. I’ve decided that this is because of masochistic tendencies. It gets no deeper than that.
June 22, 2006 at 3:40 am
Eh, I love you unconditionally no matter how passive-aggressive you get with me. Not that you have.
Okay, not really relevant to romantic relationships. But hell, you’re one of the most awesome people I’ve ever met which I know won’t convince you because I know how it feels to feel like that and nothing anyone tells you makes you feel any different.
Perhaps we’re kindred spirits, Rinns. Perhaps.
June 22, 2006 at 7:01 am
Oh, you’re here now…
Well hello there.
It really gets down to what love means. Maybe you can love someone without loving yourself, but you don’t know it’s love, so you have no idea what you are doing. I don’t think order is important either.
Oh, and love rhymes with dove and above…which is pretty cool because doves are usually above. When they aren’t making love. Or even when they are, if they are in love in a tree.
dammit
June 24, 2006 at 8:23 pm
I don’t have kids (that I’m aware of). I don’t think my cats really truly qualify in that department. But relationships, regardless, are not a piece of cake. (That sounds good right now but I’m on a diet.)
Sometimes when we are in a relationship, our vulnerabilities come out screaming and we behave in ways that we think we never would. All for love or something resembling it.
You have a lot of shit going on right now. I’ve made the ‘executive decision’ for myself right now, that no matter how much I really really want to be involved with someone right now, it’s not the right time because I have to get myself straightened out. I wouldn’t want someone who would want me in the place I am right now…
Make sense?
June 26, 2006 at 10:14 pm
i had a rather large comment typed up .. i decided not to post it when it stopped making sense to me… and instead .. offer you a hug and a drink.
sorry.
July 3, 2006 at 4:05 am
What’s worse; screwing up your relationship you are actually into, or being in love with someone other than your mate? *sigh*
July 16, 2006 at 4:55 am
Hey babe, its been a LONG TIME!! I am very sorry to hear that you aren’t doing so well.. . . But it is still good to find you again. later!
July 16, 2006 at 11:01 am
I have missed a website … Ms Q has been replaced !
Sorry about your arm … ungood.
Relationships – mmmmm, highly recommended. Not to be quantified, qualified, calibrated, sorted, compared or completed – not that I would know. I find it best just to extract as much out of life and every opportunity as possible, without hurting others.
SmartArse huh.
Have you guessed ?